Not Just a Lemon but a Damned LIME

I heard of some doozies in my day, but damn, this one took and will continue to take the cake. 

This car sounded just right. A semi reluctant seller ( diesel sensitivity) that had powered through and kept up maintenance and repairs meticulously. Low kilos and the breaking in servicing behind us. 

He even had a dog NAMED ZOE, spelt the same way. It seemed too good. 

Oh, it was. 

It started, hooray. The owner thought it might not, seeing that it had been parked so long. "I thought maybe the battery was dead", he wondered out loud. An Eyebrow raises. 

He definitely had a strong dislike for the smell of diesel. "Pungent", Rory calls it. 

The driver's side mirror has the residue of a thick oily marker with  the numbers "604" in 72 size type set scrawl. Isn't that used with write offs, major accidents and roadside abandonments? He had no explanation and claims to have never noticed it before. He waved it off as if it was an optical illusion on my part. 

The upholstery had a Nissan box weave to it, not the VW pattern, not even close. 

There was so much water in the car, we thought it was condensation from the sun roof. Nope. Not the way it was raining while we took the test drive. When I say raining, I mean it was raining on the INSIDE. That explained why the fabric had been replaced. 

The gentlemen then let it slip that he had not had this car for long, and that he bought it from a friend cheap because it had been in an accident. "You should have seen it, the whole front end was smashed, now all you see is a scrape. Cost me 800.00 to fix.  I have the receipts. I know a guy who works for 30.00/hr at VW. Remy. Want to see the before picture?"   Remy would even be kind enough to perform the inspection. 

We declined the offer and popped the hood, trying to scrape together some semblance of due diligence.  Oh look, bolts. Mystery structural bolts put into the passenger side attempting to straighten and strengthen the metal that had folded and buckled like a fan. They look like a backyard Kluge if  have ever seen one. 

I began to see...He flips cars. He and Remy. Remy and Co. buy write offs or what have you, put in some money, time, kluges and sell them on Craigslist. 

He had plenty of cars, at least two other VW's an SUV and a civic or two. Same goes for his number. It comes up on craigslist  on several occasions, selling cars, similar story of long time ownership,  and an insurmountable hardship that is severing the car and driver relationship. 

I think I will keep looking.